Is this really worth it?

So if you've followed me or know me, you know I'm doing a challenge with my gym. It's basically a nutrition and training challenge for six weeks. This is the fourth week we are in right now and it is getting harder and harder for me to focus on the nutrition aspect. I love food. I'm trying my hardest to think of food as fuel and not for enjoyment. You basically have to take out all feelings when eating compliant foods and fitting your food into your macros. It's hard!

I've asked myself a couple times in the last four weeks, is this really worth it?

The answer: yes.

It's absolutely worth it. I've been on this clean eating journey for two years and it has changed my life. My energy levels have increased. My mood has changed. My gastrointestinal issues have gone away. My skin has cleared up a bit. Overall, I just feel better about myself.

I think it's just harder in this challenge because you have to eliminate alcohol and sugar if you want the best results. What is the most challenging for me is most of my friends are out on the patios in this beautiful spring weather drinking margaritas, going to ball games and having a beer, having pizza nights in, etc. These are all things I want to participate in and it makes me so jealous that I can't. I don't know what the issue is because even when I'm not doing the challenge, I don't do those things often. It's just when you KNOW you can't have something, you're gonna want it more. This challenge is just as much mental as it is physical.

I'm not gonna lie, I have indulged in pizza and frozen yogurt while doing this challenge but only once. I enjoyed it so much but then the next day I felt not only guilty but so bloated. That enjoyment was so temporary.

At the same time, I'm looking forward to when this challenge is over and I can have that ice cold beer while toobing at the river in two weeks. It's probably the only thing that is keeping me sane right now.

Ahhh..goodnight. I'll be dreaming of frozen margaritas and pizookies while wearing my bikini. #dreaming